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If you read my last post titled- Shit Berlin Men Say, you will know the dealio with this post.

And so moving on, just what is a Berlin Toxic Bachelor? In my opinion, he is a straight man aged between 35 to 45, he frequents the Mitte late night bars and is sure to be seen coming out of such toilets either with a dishevelled lady on his arm or curiously sniffing and rubbing his nose.  Berlin Toxic Bachelors are often well-educated and have ‘straight 9 to 5’ jobs which often involves international travel.  More likely than not to speak more than three languages, they live in the best parts of Berlin, in fabulously decorated houses.  They are funny (yes Berlin men can be extremely Ha, Ha, Ha…), intelligent, charming and all that jazz.  As you can see from the description I have given, if you live in Berlin I think you’ll agree that such men are like gold dust in a city like this where a lot of men (in my opinion) seem perfectly happy to carry on with a life of Ennui, none the wiser (or richer!!!).

The Berlin Toxic Bachelor hangs on desperately to the frayed strands of his youth by being on the guest list of the ‘cool parties’ which include him being eternally present at events like Fashion Week, Berlinale etc; and he stays ‘down with the kids’ by ‘listening to Hip Hop’.  Ultimately they are men who want to continue going round that Berlin Merry Go Round and Lord help you if you try to get them off it.

These men are toxic, simply because they are Casanovas, Don Juan DeMarco’s, ‘Playas’ and so assholicly on.  The Toxic Berlin Bachelor knows what he is bringing to the table and he is well aware that in Berlin, he is manna.  However he chooses, I repeat, he chooses to stay single.  And as long as you are with him to enjoy the ride (literally) and know that you must jump off the ride post-haste when your round is over, to allow for the next female passenger to get on so he can get her off- you will be just fine.  But if not…

In fact remember the SATC episode where Charlotte announces she wants to start dating Mr Pussy seriously, and Samantha says to her sternly that Mr Pussy was to be enjoyed and then ‘set free’; well the same treatment should be applied to Berlin Toxic Bachelors.

As with my last similarly themed post, not all of this shit has been said to me, some of my friends have been on the receiving end of the below shit-

  • I’m going through my egotistical phase…
  • I only like to use and dominate women…
  • Don’t fall in love with me, I’m an asshole…
  • I can’t give you what you want…
  • I have skills…
  • I just want to party…
  • I love my girlfriend, but I don’t believe in monogamy…
  • I can’t cook but I have a big cock…
  • At 10pm, ‘I have a girlfriend…’

At 2am,’I have an open relationship…’

At 4am, ‘I have a ‘thing’…’

At 10am, ‘I have a girlfriend…’

  • I tried it with guys but it didn’t work…

Have any of you ladies been on the receiving end of any of these shitty comments? Have you had an encounter with a Toxic Bachelor?  What shit did he say to you? I’d love to know!

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