Last Saturday, I decided to move to my favourite destination, the place I love to dwell from time to time: Denial. I decided to pretend I wasn’t in Port Harcourt (PH), rather, I was in Lagos and going to the fab launch party of some brand. Ps every other day in Lagos, a brand has a lavish launch party and more often than not, that label is never heard of again!
Anyhoo, in reality, I met up with my mate for ‘Chapman and Spring rolls’ in the bar of a PH hotel called, Royal Residence. And as I was living in Denial, I got dressed like I was going for that launch party in Lagos. It felt so goooOOd to do so, having the social life of a gnat out here, and spending Monday to Saturday wearing Modest School Clothes, I really miss dressing up and going out, hanging out with creative people…
If you remember, I stated that Elizabeth Taylor’s 50s silhouette of nipped in waists and flared midi skirts were giving me life at the moment. Ps I also love the short haircut she had at the time…
Using that as inspiration, I decided to add some African flavour and See Red:
I’m a Chapman and Chapman connoisseur, and still on the search for the Perfect Chapman and Spring Rolls, my mate and I hauled ass to the Beer Garden bar. Fast forward to us chatting and minding our business, to a Male Specimen coming to sit with us in a bewildering attempt to chat me up. I say bewildering for a number of reasons. Firstly, he would not tell me his age, instead he kept on saying he was ‘Twenty Something’. Ps my Ma sat me down over Christmas to say, ‘Biki, I think you should now focus on older and divorced men’. At the time I tried to explain to her that younger men consistently find ways to insert themselves in my life. I have never EVER gone after them. And there we are. I take it as a compliment and testament to the fact that I look like how I feel, as opposed to how old I actually am. But I’ll be smart with my ‘super powers’, we all saw what happened to Demi Moore. Bygones.
Anyhoo, another puzzling thing to me was the low tone he spoke through out the conversation. I had to get him to repeat almost every word. I seem to only have this problem when I’m in Nigeria. Sometime, somewhere some Idiot Male declared that it was sexy to talk in a slurred, supposedly ‘sexy’ tone and sadly since then a lot of Nigerian men have taken his advice. I mean, the technical supporter from the company the school works with talks to me in this way, sometimes it’s so bad I want to stop him mid-sentence and ask, ‘Erm, ‘Tunde’, what’s up with the bedroom voice, have we f****ed??!!’
Back to The Zygote- he went on to point to my drink and ask what I was drinking, and when I replied I was drinking Chapman (a non-alcoholic yummy beverage), he asks me, ‘So, you don’t drink alcohol?’ Remember what I said in my last article about Nigerian men loving to jump to conclusion??! Then he went on to compliment and point out everything I was wearing, right down to the piercing in my top ear which is not exactly ‘out there’. It was kind of flattering, I suppose. I mean, I’m always surprised when guys approach me in Nigeria whilst I’m sporting my teeny Afro.
All in all, it was a fun day, and it had me wishing that PH was safer as I would have carried on the night, but come back at 7.30pm I did.
Ugh, that Amebo messing up the above picture grates on my nerves, but I guess it’s quite funny… I’ll end this post with a song I’m obsessed with at the moment. I keep a very low profile in PH and what gets me through is music. I’ve been catching up on all the African Pop songs I missed when I was away. This one, Helele is one of my favourites…it makes me laugh and I like the music arrangement. Ps ‘Helele’ can be interpreted to mean, Hot/Electrifying, Sexy as Hell etc.
Top- Flash Factor (boutique in PH) Flash Factor is slowly driving me to the Poor House! Belt- Flash Factor, Skirt- Zuvaa.com, Bag- Gift, Shoes- Office, Head band- Berlin Random Store, All Jewellery- Flash Factor.
Do any of you own any Fire Hot Red garments in your wardrobe? What are they? Do tell, I’d love to know!